Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Injustices Endured While Online Shopping

A glimpse into the greatest frustration of my day...

2:36 PM me: Effing
2:40 PM Alexis: ?
2:41 PM what are you looking at?
  college bedding???
  (jokes, but really what are you looking at?)
 me: ha close... let me tell you...
  i was at Target over the weekend
  buying things to organize with (as you know... I'm pretty much constantly trying to figure out how to get organized because I'm constantly in a state of disorganization)
  and I found (and fell in love with) a particularly beautiful knit throw
2:42 PM this throw is so beautiful and cozy that I know it will bring me great happiness and fill any void during those lonely nights alone in my bed
  I couldn't buy it at the time.
 Alexis: HAHA "fill any void during those lonely nights alone in my bed"
  that's hilarious
 me: Glad someone thinks my lonely nights are hilarious.  ANYWAY, as I was saying, yesterday I got paid.  After coming into what will certainly be short-lived financial means I said to myself... "GET YE TO TARGET.COM AND BUY THAT THROW!"
  But guess what...
2:43 PM Alexis: what?
 me: While this garbage is available online...

  my luxious, tasteful, and comforting knit throw is not
2:44 PM Alexis: um he's hurting worse than you? You can cuddle up with someone who understands loneliness right now? uh what else could this all mean, I've got nothing
  looking too deep too deep
2:47 PM me:further exploring injustices in my life as of late...
  why are these shoes only for j.crew kids? I saw them in the catalog and about shit a brick (yes i was reading on the toilet)

   Alexis: ooooooh now that's a real injustice
  those are beauts!
2:48 PM okay I have to go work
  enjoy the shopping
  find me a link to that throw!
 me: Bye!  Having not had nearly enough "whine about 1st world problems" time I moved on to my next victim.   
2:48 PM me: do you think the largest kids size would fit me?
2:49 PM Rachel: ahahah
  your taste has not changed much
  from the 6th grade amanda I once knew
  i would ask a personal shopper at jcrew
2:50 PM me: well look at those shoes!
2:51 PM Rachel: p reeety fancy
 me: I'm thinking maybe now I want a pair of saddle shoes
2:52 PM Rachel: oh i have always wanted a pair
  especially since I wear skirts every day to work in the winter

16 minutes
3:09 PM me: ugh! all of the adult saddle shoes that I find are labeled "halloween"
3:11 PM Rachel: hahah
  bass should have some!
3:12 PM if they don't have them now they'll have them in the fall
3:13 PM me: Oh-Em-Gee
3:18 PM  they're trying to tell me that they have saddle shoes with polka dots
  and then they don't actually have saddle shoes with polka dots ANYWHERE on the site to purchase
3:19 PM Rachel: lies lies everywhere
3:20 PM me: apparently the internet is being sponsored by lies today
  "online shopping brought to you by falsehoods" is the motto of the day
  I can get nothing that I want
  how on earth am I suppose to go on without the cable knit throw that I saw at Target on Sunday?
3:21 PM I certainly am not going to drive back to buy it
  and it doesn't seem to be available on their website!  And what of those polka dot shoes pictured on the website?!  They must exist somewhere!  But why can't I find them?
3:24 PM Rachel: hahahah
  comfort yourself with this: I've spent the last hour rereading email correspondence from david [ex-boyfriend] from years 07-present
  at work  That last tidbit of information from Rachel did in fact comfort me or at least distract me.  From there I launched into questions like "WHAT?!" and "WHY?!" and "ARE YOU CRAY?"
I suppose some people would see today's failed attempts to purchase (unnecessary) goods from the comfort of my desk as a sign from God/Yahweh/Allah/Great Spirit/The Universe that I shouldn't shop and my pennies are best saved for a rainy day.  To that I say... "Okay. Fine... I'll wait.  It's Seattle. Rain should be along any second."


  1. I found them!!!!!!! Go here:


    Day = Officially made!

  3. Hahahahaha, this sounds exactly like conversations I've had with friends before.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...