On May 1st I started putting together a playlist that I had planned on posting that evening. That didn't happen and so here I am a month later finally getting it up here. Enjoy!
Last night my plan was to hurry home from work, throw on my running shoes, get fit, and shower. All this before meeting up with a fellow for drinks and chats.
The last part of the evening went according to plan. The part where I was productive and ran a bunch of miles did not.
Instead of getting out there on the open road and burning off second lunch, I came home, immediately relieved myself of pants, cracked open a beer, plopped myself on the couch and watched The Killing.
Oh yeah and when I finished the beer I straightened my hair (sans pants and in front of the T.V.... obvi).
All of this was a genius use of my time. Possibly Absolutely the highlight of my week. And I'm not at all ashamed to admit that.
At one point during the "highlight of my week", the part where I started talking to the television to be exact, I found myself uncontrollably laughing to/at myself. I realized how ridiculous I would look to a fly on the wall -- or, more realistically, my neighbors. (I'm not always the best about closing the blinds when engaging in pants-free living.)
An aside: This raises the age-old question, "Are you ever really living while wearing pants?" The answer, as you might already have guessed, is "No. Not fully... Unless they're hot pink." See venn diagram (based on another pants related venn diagram) below for further clarification:
Back to the business at hand.
My delight with the situation suddenly turned into feelings of deep gratitude. For what? I guess it's sort of in line with what I posted about yesterday. Needing to just chill out and enjoy what's happening now. It's lovely little moments like these that help me acknowledge and appreciate my extremely limited responsibilities and the great amount of freedoms I have as a result. Sitting around half dressed drinking beer in my apartment might seem like a silly example but I have a feeling it's nonsense like that that I will be missing 10 years down the road.
Actually let's be honest here... as soon as this evening I'll be missing the sweet relaxation of last night. Tonight it's all pants, all the time for Amanda. A dear friend of mine is arriving in a matter of hours and so fun-times-in-public-places must ensue (damn social convention and your insistence on constricting waist-bands).
This isn't to say that the weekend won't be equi-glorious to last night. It will be just a different type of glorious.
And with that I am shockingly out of words. Off I go so start my 3 day respite from work!!
So I am going to make a concerted effort to turn a little more inward. Things have been hectic (I know, I know, what else is new with you?). Hopefully more blogging will be a byproduct.
The Sunday before last I started thinking about the week I had ahead and realized that I did not have a single free second. So what did I do? I canceled every plan I had made so that I could take care of myself.
By noon the next day I had filled all of my new found free time with even more plans.
I feel torn between wanting to get out, socialize, and have fun and wanting to sleep, clean, and make my environment pleasant.
The past couple of weeks have been somewhat emotionally tumultuous -- as was evidenced by my all out sob fest in the middle of the San Diego airport Monday morning. AGH. Public displays of emotional instability. Always fun! (God Bless my mother who was on the phone for most of it).
Nothing in particular is wrong. It all goes back to my impatience. Goal setting and then wanting to fast forward to the goal obtaining. The particular problem with my latest goals is that I can't quite figure out the path to get me to them. So it's frustrating.
I think my newest goal should be "cut it out with your stupid goals". I'm tired of always striving - never being satisfied. I need to sit back and enjoy instead of constantly working for something other than what I've got going on right now. Life changes and evolves naturally without me constantly poking and prodding at it (seemingly in vain).
Now that's not to say there aren't some things that I could... or rather should... be working toward changing. Namely, the state of affairs in my pocketbook and car disrepair. Maybe with increased inner calm those won't seem as daunting? Who knows.
One thing I've noticed in these past few weeks where I've been fairly restless, there have been certain things, namely photography, photo editing, and choir practice, that have centered me and brought me joy. It's been nice reminding myself of an outlet worthy of my energy that rewards my efforts.
This ramble was not suppose to be this long. All I had meant to write was "Hey... gonna try and be better about this writing thing -- it's sort of important to me. In the meantime, enjoy the Dr. Dog song I've been listening to all day".
So yeah... Gonna be better about writing. And enjoy Dr. Dog.
I really meant to do April photo-a-day. Alas I did not. But that doesn't mean I didn't take pictures. Here are 30 snapshots from 30 days worth of April
Happy First Day of the Month Before the Month In Which Summer Starts!
